


where they rob a burger king

by pete_za



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, and shitty..he's shitty, because there's some gun stuff, but all is well in the end, did i mention jack is a fuckin g ding dong, it gets a little wild okay, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 23:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7335064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pete_za/pseuds/pete_za
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>everyone always says that jack is dressed like he's going to rob a burger king. so why not finally write that au?</p>
            </blockquote>





	where they rob a burger king

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted as a response to an au on my check please blog! bitsofzimbits.tumblr.com
> 
> also because this is a robbery!au there will be some mild gun violence so please take caution if that might trigger you!

  
“GET THE FUCK ON THE FLOOR EVERYBODY, THIS IS A STICK UP!”  

The customers were really confused when a man wielding a hockey stick, only wearing boxers and reflective sunglasses and sported a moustache with a sick flow to match, yelled that phrase as he rammed his way into the Burger King. They didn’t understand what was going on until they saw another man with a gun flanking the moustache guy. That was the exact moment the lunch rush customers at Burger King began to scream bloody murder. Chaos descended upon the fast food establishment and Bitty, who was working the cash register, just  _ groaned _ . 

  
Not to get into specifics, but  today had not been Eric Bittle’s day. If God could at least spare him until he got off his shift, Bitty would be thankful for the rest of his life. But,  _ noo _ , some asshats had to come into his Burger King and rob it. Not the one on the other side of Samwell, not the one in Providence,  _ this one _ . He fought the urge just to say, “fuck it” and walk out, but Bitty really needed the job so he decided stay put.   
  
A shot from the gun went off with a  _ bang _ , and debris from the ceiling showered the customers hunched on the ground in terror.    
  
“Now that I have your attention,” the moustache guy shouted, “guys, gals, and non binary pals, please empty your wallets and purses. I come to rob you, not to be an insensitive prick.”   
  
“ _ Shitty _ ,” the guy with the gun sighed and pulled off the ball cap shielding his face. “What did I tell you about the monologue?”    
  
Gun guy was either seriously prepared to rob a Burger King or was yet another broody character in the Marvel cinematic universe. He wore a pair of hideous neon yellow trainers, Jake from State Farm khakis, and one of those zip up activewear jackets. It was such a look, honestly.   
  
The customers looked around uneasily, all wondering if they were being punk’d or something.   
  
“You know what,” Shitty snapped, “Pulling robberies is harder than Joanne the Scammer makes it seem.”   
  
“This isn’t twitter, Shits.”   
  
“Um. Y’all,” Bitty interrupted. Jack and Shitty slowly turned to face the voice. “I hate to, like, butt in y’alls conversation, but can you finish robbing the store and argue later?”   
  
“Fucking look at this little brah, Jack, he seriously knows where our priorities should be.”   
  
Jack dragged his hand across his face like he had had a long day of robbing other Burger Kings and walked over to the counter where Bitty stood.  He glanced down at Bitty’s nametag. “Your name is Eric, eh.”   
  
His blue eyes flicked back up to meet Bitty’s brown ones, and everything kind of clicked. Things seemed right, almost as if Jack wasn’t holding up a fast food restaurant. Their shared gaze felt special. A blush flushed across Bitty’s cheeks. Jack frantically tried to find something else to look at other than the insanely attractive blond in front of him. 

He sighed. “Just give me the money, Eric.”   
  
“Why?” Bitty drawled.   
  
“I have a gun?”    
  
Bitty giggled. “You really gotta do more convincing if you want what’s in the cash register, honey.”   
  
The taller, gun-wielding man grinned sheepishly. “Uh, cash please?”   
  
It was a mystery why Bitty was even remotely charmed by the man trying to rob him.   
  
The unmistakable wail of police sirens was heard in the distance.   
  
“It’s the motherfucking fuzz!” Shitty yelped. “How’d they get onto us?   
  
“You’re robbing a Burger King.” Bitty deadpanned.   
  
The mustached man snapped his fingers, “You are right about that. Let’s roll Jackie-O.”   
  
Shitty scooped up a couple of the cowering patrons wallets and ran to the get-away car. Jack shrugged and turned around to leave, pulling his ball cap low again.   
  
“Wait!” Bitty called out, and Jack froze, “This is gonna sound weird...but if you ever want to rob my Burger King again, feel free to.”   
  
“Really?” he chucked.   
  
Bitty scribbled out seven digits on the back of a receipt and slid it towards Jack. The thief raked his eyes over the paper and grinned. From outside, Shitty honked their car horn fanatically.    
  
“ _ LET’S _ !  _ GO _ !”   
  
Bitty and Jack’s eyes flicked in Shitty’s direction. 

  
“That’s uh…that’s my ride. I should…”   
  
“Oh…right.”   
  
“I gotta go.”   
  
“Okay.”   
  
Jack took a step back, “I gotta go, but I’ll text you, alright?”   
  
“Alright.”   
  
And in a moment of sudden passion Jack leaned across the counter and pressed a kiss to Bitty’s lips. An affectionate “aww” rippled through the still petrified crowd. Jack broke the kiss, running towards the entrance and stopped, turning back around to face Bitty. “I’ll text you.”  And all Bitty could do in response was nod because at the moment he was three parts jelly and one part  _ What The Actual Fuck _ . 

Shitty and Jack sped off just as the red and blue of  police lights flashed across Bitty’s retinas. He leaned forward on the counter in an attempt to steady himself because what the  _ hell _ had just happened?   
  
  
And as Bitty braced himself for the cops about to enter the building, he felt an unmistakable buzz in his back pocket.


End file.
